Who Wants To Live Forever?
by Einsam
Summary: Songfic, sad, with slightly happy ending. Really, did anyone actually expect Chihiro to be able to be with Haku? Come on, he's a kami for kami's sake.


**Disclaimer: Would the owner of Spirited away _really _be on this site writing fanfiction? Use your brain. I don't own "Who wants to live forever" either. Queen does.**

**A/N: This story is semi-graphic, no major detail, but if you find yourself uncomfortable with that, press the little button up the top of the screen that says "back".**

**I thought this song described the situation between Kohaku and Chihiro perfectly. So read on…**

"Haku…" I whispered. It had been so long since I had last seen him… Ten years. I'd barely survived in society since then, becoming quiet and withdrawn. My parents saw this as an improvement. I never spoke of my time in the spirit world. But every night I longed for him, with a yearning so strong I could feel it in my blood, crying tears of desire as my whispered prayers went unanswered. This night was no different… or so I thought, until-

"Chihiro?"

**There's no time for us**

**There's no place for us**

**What is this thing that builds our dreams?**

**Yet slips away from us**

I could've sworn I was dreaming; but he was right in front of my bed, eyes searching mine in the darkness, illuminated only by the light of the full moon outside.

"Haku?" I asked, not daring to let myself believe. To do that would inevitably lead to heartbreak and torture.

"It's been so long" he whispered. "And you've changed…" His eyes raked over my body. His eyes were full of curiosity, sadness and… was that lust?

I got out of my bed and stood an arms-length away from him, as if to touch him would make him disappear. He seemed to sense the reason for my reluctance, because he smiled at me, and pulled me against him for an embrace I'd been waiting for ten years to happen.

**Who wants to live forever?**

**Who wants to live forever…?**

"H-Haku?" My voice caught in surprise. He looked at me questioningly. "Will- will you stay?" I implored.

Sadness overtook his expression. "I'm sorry. I can't. I was only allowed to come here in the first place because of my vow to you. After this I may never see you again."

Disappointment filled me like a cruel parody of satisfaction. He was the reason I existed for these ten years. I didn't know what I would do without him. "Well- can you take me with you?" I begged, but I knew the answer before it reached his lips.

**There's no chance for us**

**It's all decided for us**

**This world has only one sweet moment**

**Set aside for us**

"I-I'm sorry, Chihiro. But I can't. You aren't meant to exist in my world." A tear made its way unbidden down his cheek.

I bowed her head, refusing to acknowledge the tears streaming down my face. "Well… stay? Just for tonight" I amended when I saw his doubt.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Yes, Chihiro… I'll stay. For tonight."

**Who wants to live forever?**

**Who dares to love forever?**

**When love must die**

I clung to him, as he kissed me softly before looking into my eyes. "I wish I could stay… But I'll give you something to live for" he whispered before kissing me again.

**But touch my tears**

**With your lips**

**Touch my world**

**With your fingertips**

His hands had long since left my shoulder; they slipped under the fabric of my shirt and grasped me so tenderly it made me moan in the back of my throat. Automatically, I was already arching my back towards him.

He pulled me into him, kissing me so intensely and hungrily that he was biting me. I wanted him to fill every crevice of my mouth with his tongue, and as if he heard me thoughts he did so. He kissed me so deeply, his tongue fighting for every taste of sweet passion my mouth could possibly hold.

That night he did what no other had done: loved me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I found comfort in his embrace, knowing this was the first and last time it would happen.

I held his head against my chest as he came, and it was as if I was comforting him: It never occurred to me that Haku would need me as much as I needed him. I silently begged him to stay with me, so that I could wake next to him in the morning, and we could start our lives together. But it wasn't to be.

**And we can have forever**

**And we can love forever**

**Forever is our today**

"I love you Chihiro. May your life be prosperous." He blessed me, thinking I was asleep. I saw his tears through half-closed eyes as he glanced at me one last time, before disappearing into the night.

**Who wants to live forever?**

**Who wants to live forever?**

I knew then that even if he could stay, it wouldn't have worked. I was mortal, he immortal. He would just feel pain when I died, and I didn't even know what would happen to me. I would grow old, and leave him behind. But I still felt hollow. Like there was nothing to live for.

**Forever is our today**

Two Months Later

"Ms. Ogino?" the doctor enquired. Nodding in reply, I sat in the chair next to the doctor's desk.

"Congratulations, Ms. Ogino. You're pregnant."

I now knew what Haku had done for me. The joy I felt was unrivalled by anything I had ever felt. Now I had something to live for. Maybe now I could start again.

**Who waits forever, anyway?**


End file.
